To Corey...

A long time ago, almost Christmas Eve, I recived a Fernando Savater's book as a gift. The book was about the Seven Deadly Sins and on the book's cover you can see a detail of a painting called Garden of Delights painted by Hieronymus Bosch (in Spanish El Bosco). I read the book right away, I finished it in 3 days (it was short, not so difficult to read). I thought it would make think and reflect about what I do, how I do it and how my actions affect the people around me. I get to be honest, I don't remember a word of that book.

A few days ago, I started to read a new book (my very first one of this year... Oh no! Wait! I've started the first book and fifth book of Game of Thrones and left them after 10 pages read each book, also I've started a novel about hipsters... What the hell was I thinking?... The main character was so annoying, stupid, egocentric, vain and boring, so I left the book after 20 pages read). So, where were we? Oh yeah! I start to read my first book in English since I don't remember. I chose the Seven Deadly Sins: Settling the Argument Between Born Bad and Damaged Good by Corey Taylor. First, the English is my second language and I speak it, read it and write it like it was my... Whatever! I'm not good in any of those (you know my Mexican accent is present in every sentence "yo no speak-o good English", barely speak Spanish).

Well, I should stop writing non-sense things and let’s talk about the book instead. You know the bad reputation that a celebrity book has, sometimes they do not even know what their book is about, they just appear in the cover and say they wrote it. That was the main reason why I did not want to read this book. I said to myself “For God sakes! Does Corey Taylor knows how to write? What he knows about writing a book? Really? Did Corey write a book?”. But if you think again it makes sense, because he writes songs –and now by the book I know he write a editorial column in a newspaper or something–, and for me it’s quite difficult to do that, it’s like write a poem with music, not everyone could do so.

I read and read, the twenty-pages-curse was broken when I realized I was already at the page 57, reading about the sins and Corey’s life. Also I could realize that the book was entertaining, I felt so happy because at last, after lots and lots of books of fantasy and contemporary novels, I’ve found something to read that was meaningful to me, something that make think about my life, about my childhood, about the bad and the good moments, about love, about my environment and professional life, about my friends and where I’m heading to... I still do not know where I’m going to, or what I want to become, I still feel lost. 

I know Corey is not a Kierkegaard nor Nietzsche, but there’s something about how he explains and tells his life–shameless and honest– through the Deadly Sins that makes me fantasies with him –not, not in that way–, what I mean is, well I’m always alone –it’s okay I don’t feel blue; a famous philosopher said that we are always alone, specially when we were born and when we die... the thing is that I’m an only child and I’ve learned to be alone and being comfortable with, sometimes in a bad way with scars and tears, but now I feel okay– and to read him it’s very similar to have a new friend, one that you never imagine to have or to meet, because you live in different places, different countries and you live different circumstances at different time. 

Maybe, Corey is the friend I never had and I never will. It could be and sound pathetic to consider a rockstar your friend just because you read his book. Al least for me and, I guess, it's because my loneliness, I feel like Corey is talking with me, sometimes it seems to me that I almost hear his husky voice pronounce every word I read, and the laughs, the sighs… In some moment when I was reading about the bullying that he suffered, suddenly I lifted my face and I was almost ready to hi-five with him, like if he was there next to me, but obviously he wasn’t in my bedroom.

A book had never caused such an impact on me. Sometimes, Corey became an imaginary friend, like when I was little. Sometimes I imagine that he and I were discussing several topics of the book, and we laugh, and we argue, but then I wake up or come back to reality, he is not there and I’m by myself once again.

You should say: “why do you imagine that you two are friends?, Why do not you imagine his your boyfriend or something more fantastic, even though it’s like a dream?”. This is simple, because he is too crazy for me. He have done lots of things that like his couple I do not know if I could forgive or accept him, but like a friend it’s not too complicated and I think I could enjoy it better.

All I can say is, Corey became my hero number 2 –Dave Grohl is always the pretty one– and he has helped and saved me when I feel blue. I just have to remember his own words “go fuck yourself” and I’m back baby to conquer the world.

Thank you so much, for being who you are and being true to yourself. For being my friend, even though, you don't know about my existence.